The Art of Starting Over

By the end of the day, Hayden was exhausted. He’d done everything he could on his property, except drive or operate any of the heavy equipment. This was part of the deal he’d made with Link. Hayden would be there every day to help, and Link would give him a slight discount. To Hayden, any money off was worth the sweat. Besides, he had nothing else to do and really needed a new profession. He figured if he started working construction with Link, there might be a job for him in the future. Once he figured out what he wanted to do with his life.

For the first time, he went to his trailer. The air inside was stale and muggy. He opened all the windows, turned on the generator, and made his way to the shower. The water pressure in his camper was like a drizzle after being at his parents’ place, but it was convenient. When he was done, he found some clean clothes and got dressed.

He stared at his bed and contemplated falling onto it for a long nap. Conor was with his grandparents, hopefully doing homework, and he probably wouldn’t notice if his dad didn’t make it home for dinner. But then again, they hadn’t spent a night apart from each other in months, and while they could probably benefit from some space, this might not be the time. All Hayden’s best intentions of living in his camper while construction took place seemed to have gone out the window.

At least for now.

Hayden flopped onto his bed, closed his eyes, and started to relax until Devorah’s face popped into his mind. It wasn’t just Devy but them together, and him kissing her. And then her standing there on his property, listening to him describe his house. When the vision of his home came into his mind, he saw Devy and Maren living with him and Conor. Those kinds of thoughts were going to get him into trouble, especially where Devy was concerned.

Hayden thought about Sofia and the last day he’d seen her. She had ridden her horse out to where he was on the property, building a new shelter for some of her father’s horses. Sofia brought him lunch, and they had made love by the pond. She talked about having another child. They were both ready and felt like Conor would make a great big brother. The plan was for her to stop taking her birth control the next day.

Only the next day, he was planning her funeral. Just like that, his world had shattered. The hopes and dreams they had shared were gone, all because of her cousin. Hayden wanted her charged and in jail. It was the least the police could do for him and Conor, except Sofia’s parents didn’t want that and begged for the charges to be dropped. Sofia’s dad had pull. Hayden didn’t, despite being a respected member of the law enforcement community.

The animosity grew between them and forced Hayden to make the decision to move back to Oyster Bay with his son. He missed his wife and wiped the tears that streamed from his eyes. He hadn’t realized he’d started crying. When she died, he thought he would never be ready to move on. Until he ran into Devorah. His axis had shifted that day, and for the first time since Sofia died, he saw promise. Even if nothing came of him and Devy, she would be a constant in his life. This much he knew.

His phone rang, pulling him from his thoughts. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. The text was from an unknown number, but the message was clear: Be at Crow’s for dinner, 6 p.m. Bring Conor.

A nap or early bedtime could wait. He assumed the number belonged to Crow, and with that, if the sheriff wanted you at his house for dinner, you went.

Hayden spent a few more minutes on his bed, gathering his thoughts. As much as he liked Devorah, he had to respect that she was in a much different place than he was. He could easily jump in with both feet, but there was no way she was ready to even dip a toe into the dating game. The kiss they shared, while one of the best moments of his recent life, had probably scared the shit out of her. Never mind the way he was when she’d brought lunch to him earlier.

Well, lunch to the crew. She didn’t know he was there. Her presence had still sent his heart into a tailspin. He wanted to be around her, more and more each day.

He sent a text to his mom, giving her an update on his and Conor’s dinner plans, and then cleaned up after himself. After shutting down the generator, he left a couple of windows open to let the air circulate, hoping the fresh air would make the place smell a bit better.

On his way to pick up Conor, he detoured to the next town over and stopped at the grocery store for a bouquet and a six-pack of Crow’s favorite beer. He also picked up a chocolate cake for dessert. It wasn’t homemade, but he didn’t want to show up empty handed.

Hayden honked when he got to his parents’ place, and Conor came running out with his own bouquet in his hand. Hayden laughed and reached across the console, pulled the handle for the door, and nudged it so Conor could open it easier.

“Nice flowers, bud.”

“Thanks. Grandpa took me to the store when he found out about dinner. Said the McKenna men don’t show up . . .” Conor trailed off when he followed his father’s gaze to the backseat. “Empty handed,” he mumbled.noveldrama

“Grandpa is right. I didn’t think to check with you beforehand. You can give those to Devy.”

Conor beamed. “I really like her,” he said. “She includes me in stuff.”

Hayden didn’t have the heart to tell him the text was probably from the sheriff. “I like her too, bud.”

“More than Mom?” Conor looked at his dad.

Hayden’s heart lurched, and he shook his head. “Never. I love your mom, even though she isn’t here with us. She will always be here.” Hayden pressed his fist over his heart. “I can’t look at you and not see her or remember her. Your mom will always be with me. With us. No one can ever take the memories we have of her away from us.”

Conor’s eyes welled up with tears. Hayden pulled over, released Conor’s seat belt, and lugged his son into his arms. Conor cried into his father’s shoulder. “I miss her lots.”

“I know, bud. I wish I could take away your pain. The only thing I can do is be here for you and talk about your mom whenever you want. I don’t know how you feel, because I still have my mom and dad, so you have to tell me when the pain is too much so I can try to help you cope.”

“Okay,” he cried.

They sat there on the side of the road, holding each other, until Conor sat up. “I’m better.”

“Yeah?”

Conor nodded.

“Do you still want to go to Maren’s?”

He nodded again. “She’s my friend. I don’t want her to think I don’t like her.”

“Sometimes, we can say no to things, especially if we’re not feeling that great. You are more important than dinner at the Crowleys’. Just say the word, and we’ll go home, or we can go to the camper and just chill for the night. The two of us.”

Conor shook his head and wiped at his almost-dry cheeks. “I’m okay now.”

“If you change your mind, just ask me if my headache is back, and we’ll leave.” Hayden signaled and then pulled onto the road. Within minutes, they were parked in front of Crow’s house.

“You know he’s the whole boss of Oyster Bay?” Conor said as they walked toward the wide-planked stairs leading to the porch.

“People definitely think that about Crow,” Hayden told him, not bothering to explain that a mayor in town made all the decisions. Mostly because Hayden had no idea who it was or who sat on the city council these days. At one point while growing up, Lee had been on the council and laughed when he’d have to vote on whether an oyster farmer could expand his enterprise.

Conor beat Hayden up the stairs and knocked. Hayden could hear the Crowleys in the kitchen but couldn’t see anyone down the hall. He was about to knock again when he saw Devy coming down the stairs in a short sundress and cowboy boots. Boots he was willing to bet she hadn’t brought with her from Chicago.

“Hey,” she said as she pushed the screen door open. Hayden caught the door and never took his eyes off Devy.

Conor handed her the flowers. She smiled and brought them to her nose. “These are beautiful, Conor. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Is Maren here?”

“She’s in the kitchen, helping Crow. Head on in.”

Conor ran down the hallway and into the kitchen. “You have a dog!”

Devorah laughed, clearly remembering what Hayden had said about Conor wanting a dog. Hayden chuckled but kept his focus on Dev.

She turned her head slowly, meeting his gaze. He swallowed hard at the sight of her with her dress showing a bit more skin than he was used to seeing from her. Tonight, she had her hair in a long braid, and her skin seemed to shimmer. He’d learned enough from Sofia over the years to know that lotions and sprays often had shimmer or glitter in them. The shimmer, he liked. The glitter sometimes got everywhere and one time had ended up in his eyes.

Whatever Devorah had on, he was a fan of it. He had a difficult time tearing his gaze away from her. Mostly because he had to stop himself from leaning down and inhaling the scent she wore. It was vanilla, coconut, and summer, and it was perfect.

Hayden adjusted himself as discreetly as possible and cleared his throat. He leaned against the door casing, kept his other hand behind his back, and crossed his foot over his ankle. “How was your first day?” he asked as he tilted his head and smirked at her. “I meant to come in, but the guys left a bit later than I planned on.”

“Really good, actually. Laila came in. She apologized for the other night and asked me to join the festival committee.”

Hayden’s expression lit up. “Seriously? That’s fantastic. Are you going to do it?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Devy took another inhale of the flowers. “These are very pretty.”

“What can I say, my son has taste.” Hayden brought his hand up and showed her the flowers in his hand. “These are for Maren.”

“From you?” Devy asked, with a slight grin.

Hayden beamed. “Of course. I can’t have my son showing me up in the flower department. What would the Crowley women think of the McKenna men?”

Devorah threw her head back in laughter and thankfully didn’t correct Hayden on the usage of “Crowley” versus “Campbell.”

“Well, these are lovely. Conor has impeccable taste in arrangements. I’m going to go put them in water. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Shit, I forgot. I’ll be right back.”

Hayden jogged back to his truck and grabbed the six-pack for Crow and the dessert. He didn’t bother knocking when he came in and headed right to the kitchen, where he found Conor and Maren, each standing on a chair, with Crow in between them. He was teaching them how to cut a roast.

“Crow, I brought you a six-pack.” Hayden held it up and waited for Crow to acknowledge him. “I’ll put it in the refrigerator, along with this chocolate cake I brought.”

“Cake?” Maren turned so fast she almost fell off the chair.

“Did I hear cake?” Devorah said as she came into the kitchen.

“Well, now I know the way to yours and Maren’s heart.”

“Mine too,” Crow said casually.

“Right, the Crowleys love chocolate cake. The McKenna men have made a note.”

“All right, everyone,” Crow said. “Grab a seat at the table; I’ll bring everything out.”

Hayden and Conor sat across from Devorah and Maren, leaving the head of the table for Crow, who brought out roast with baby potatoes, maple-glazed carrots, and a garden-fresh salad. Everyone began dishing their plates and commenting about how good everything smelled.

All except for Devorah.

“Everything okay, Devy?” Hayden asked, midspoonful.

“Yeah, I just need a minute.” She excused herself from the table. Everyone was silent until they heard a door shut upstairs.

“Grandpa, should I go check on her?” Maren asked.

“No, you can eat. Your mom just needs a minute,” Crow said.

Hayden set his fork down. He’d wait until Devorah came back before eating.

“I wasn’t a great dad to her after her mom died,” Crow began saying to Hayden. “You’re in a similar situation. Don’t let my mistakes ruin your relationship with your son.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m trying now, but I fear it may be too late.”

“No, sir. You’re not.”

After a few minutes, Hayden excused himself and went upstairs. He’d spent many nights playing video games in Colt’s room and knew exactly which one was Devorah’s. Hayden paused at the top of the steps. He could hear Crow talking to the kids, who were laughing. Someone snorted. This brought a smile to his face. Maybe Crow wasn’t so scary after all, and adolescent/teenage Hayden had feared him for nothing.

Hayden shook his head. Crow definitely scared the shit out of him back then. But Crow was much younger then and could keep up with most of the teens. There was nothing wrong with having a healthy respect for the law, and its enforcer, especially when you were trying to covet his teenage daughter.

“Devy,” he said as he knocked. “May I come in?”

She didn’t answer. Instead, she opened the door. He could tell she’d been crying and suspected the family dinner was the cause.

He reached for her hand, slipping his fingers in between hers. “I can’t imagine how all of this feels after not having it for so long.”

She nodded. “It’s a bit overwhelming. I can’t even remember the last time we ate at the table, as a family.”

“But you’ll remember tonight. Crow’s trying to be a better father.”

“I know. I need to let him.”

“Come on. The kids are waiting.”

He went downstairs while Devy used the bathroom. When she came into the dining room, she looked refreshed. Before she sat down, she kissed her father on his cheek. “Thank you.”

“Eat up, Devorah. There’s chocolate cake waiting,” Crow said without missing a beat.

“Maybe we should skip dinner altogether and just eat cake,” Conor suggested, also without missing a beat.

Crow cleared his throat, which seemed to take Conor by surprise. His eyes widened, and before Hayden could say anything, Crow set his fork down.

“Young man,” Crow said as he looked at Conor. “Standing up for your friends is an honorable thing to do. I will never fault you for doing what’s right, especially when it comes to my granddaughter. As her grandfather, I appreciate you. As the sheriff, take this warning with you for a long time—violence isn’t the answer. Even when you didn’t hurt the other kid.”

“Yes, sir,” Conor said. “I didn’t mean to hurt DJ. But when he didn’t stop hurting Maren, even after she asked him to stop, all I could think was to move him away from her. I probably pushed him a little too hard.”

Hayden reached over and set his hand on his son’s arm.

Conor looked at his dad and then back at Crow. “I think it’s wrong not to stop when someone says no.”

“You’re right, son,” Crow said, nodding. He then looked at Hayden. “You raised this boy right. You should be proud. I know your father is.”

“Thank you, Crow,” Hayden said as he swallowed the lump in his throat. “And thank you for always showing me the right path. Because of men like you and my dad, I turned out okay.”

“Huh,” Crow huffed. “I’d say you’re much better than okay.” Crow looked around and then down at his food. “Anyway . . .” He picked his fork up and began eating. Hayden waited for him to finish, but he never went back to the subject.