The Art of Starting Over

In the week since Tremaine “Crow” Crowley—the long-standing and beloved sheriff of Oyster Bay—passed away, life in town had come to a standstill. Everyone mourned the loss of Crow. Residents and businesses on Main Street draped black coverings over their windows, and the governor had given the town special permission to fly their flags at half staff. Crow’s passing had made statewide news, and thousands were expected to attend his funeral.

Hayden finished tying his tie and then helped Conor with his. Hayden could count on one hand how many funerals he’d attended in his lifetime: five. Both sets of grandparents and his wife’s. He felt odd knowing the number off the top of his head, and the feeling was compounded when he looked at Conor. He was nine, and this was his second within a year.

The McKenna family walked to the high school, where Crow’s services would be held. It was the only place in town big enough to accommodate the masses of mourners coming. Every law enforcement agency in the state sent at least one delegate, if not more. Crow had friends on every force and in every emergency service industry, as evidenced by the coast guard ship docked at the pier, blocking everyone’s view of the harbor.

Local people walked to the service, leaving parking for out-of-towners. Hayden had offered his land up for overflow parking, which the Crafty Cathys appreciated. The CC Club handled everything, with Colt’s and Devorah’s permission. The club, for all the gossip they spread, knew how to get things done.

Since Crow’s passing, his home had been a revolving door of people coming and going throughout the day; the phone rang off the hook, and food deliveries arrived almost every hour. People came to pay their respects and leave cards, and, with the sheer number of bouquets on every free surface of the house, they made the inside look and smell like a florist’s shop.

Standing on the outside—Hayden.

He hadn’t seen Devorah since the night her father passed away, and they’d barely spoken. He’d chalked it up to her not having a moment of peace. It was easier to think that than the alternative. When he saw Colt, he’d told Hayden that Devy had locked herself in her room, that she barely came out to eat, and that Maren wasn’t going to school.

Hayden worried about Maren and hoped her lack of attendance over the past week wouldn’t be something Chad could use against Devorah. The last thing she needed was to give her ex any ammunition to use in their divorce.

Of course, with Crow gone, who knew if she would even stay in Oyster Bay?

That thought plagued him. Hayden was serious when he’d told Dev that he and Conor would move to Chicago if she and Maren went back. Devy probably thought he was joking, and maybe at the time he was. No one knew Crow would have a massive heart attack and die, though, and Hayden didn’t want to lose Devy. Not when his high school crush had finally turned into reality.

Staff at the high school had converted the gymnasium into an auditorium of sorts with a podium at one end, numerous white chairs facing it, and the bleachers pulled out. The first ten rows of chairs had been reserved for friends and family. Those people had received a special notice, hand delivered by someone from the CC Club, letting them know they’d sit with family.

Hayden showed the attendant at the door his invite, stuffed it back into the inside pocket of his suit jacket, and then led Conor to their designated row. His parents hadn’t made it past the school entrance before people wanted to talk to Dr. McKenna about their heart health. It didn’t matter that Lee had retired; he would always be the one people trusted.

Devorah and Maren sat in the front row. Both wore black dresses. Hayden was about to go up to her when he saw Chad walk by. He bent and kissed Devy on her cheek and then picked Maren up and held her in his lap.

Clearly, this wasn’t the first time they’d seen Chad. Not by the way Maren reacted. If he’d just shown up, she would’ve been excited and surprised to see her father.

She wasn’t.

And neither was Devorah.

As much as Hayden wanted to tell himself that what he’d seen was nothing, that it meant nothing, a nagging voice in the back of his head told him otherwise. How come he hadn’t heard Chad was in town? Certainly, this type of news would’ve spread like wildfire. The man who’d cheated on Oyster Bay’s Pearl of the Ocean had returned to town, a man whose mistress had publicly humiliated her, and no one had anything to say?

Hayden dug his fingers into his legs as anger threatened to erupt. A funeral honoring Devorah’s father wasn’t the time nor the place. Neither was after the service. How long would he have to wait to confront her? To demand answers?

Wasn’t he at least owed the basic “Hey, thanks for the fuck, but I’m going back to my ex” talk?

His father crossed in front of him, blocking his view for a brief second.

“What’s eating you?” Lee asked.

“What? Nothing.”

“Bullshit. You look like you’re about to put someone in the coffin next to Crow. What’s going on?”

Hayden kept his eyes focused on the back of Chad’s head. Lee was right. Hayden would like to put Chad in a coffin. Just not next to Crow’s. He wouldn’t damn the man through eternity with the person responsible for breaking his daughter’s heart.

“Ah,” Lee said. “You feel you should be up front with her?”

“No, it’s not that,” Hayden said through gritted teeth. “It’s the man next to her.”

“Colt?”

Hayden shook his head and looked around the room for Colt, spotting him in the corner speaking to a police officer. “That’s Chad Campbell.”

“No shit? Pretty ballsy showing up at Crow’s funeral. He’s liable to come back to life and beat his son-in-law.”

“I wish he would,” Hayden said. Then he wouldn’t have to spend the night in jail for doing it himself.

A police officer stepped to the podium, and everyone rushed to take their seats and quieted down. The man spoke about why they’d gathered there today and asked that if people needed to excuse themselves, to please use the gym doors off to the right or left. His last request was that everyone silence their cell phones.

One of the local preachers took the podium and began Crow’s service. By the end, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, including Hayden’s. For as gruff as Crow was, he was going to be missed, and not just by the community, but by his family.

Crow’s family stood, and, led by Colt, they walked to Crow’s coffin and said their last goodbyes.

Chad did not. He stood there and waited for Maren and Devorah to return, and then he held his daughter’s hand and placed his other hand on the small of Devorah’s back and guided them out of the gymnasium.

One by one, rows were excused. Some went to Crow’s coffin, while others made their way to the cafeteria, where the wake was being held. Hayden thought about leaving, heading back to his parents’ place, where he could shut everyone out of his mind.

Only, doing so would serve no purpose. He wasn’t going to stop thinking about Devorah and Chad. Or be able to forget how she hadn’t spoken to him all week. Or how Chad was in town, and his presence wasn’t a surprise to anyone. Except Hayden.

The receiving line to get into the gymnasium had already backed up down the hall because of all the people waiting to pay their respects. Hayden grew irritated, but he knew that if he didn’t go to the wake, Devorah would ask him why he hadn’t been there. Or would she?

Would she even notice he wasn’t there?

Probably not, with Chad there.

“Behave,” his father’s voice said in his ear. He turned and glared at his father.

“I’m at a funeral,” he told him. “It’s not like I’m going to punch the guy.”

“Or her,” Lee said. “She’s going through a lot right now and needs support. She doesn’t need you pissing on her to mark your territory.”

As if the thought crossed my mind.

When it was Hayden’s turn, he shook Colt’s hand and then pulled him in for a hug. “I’m so sorry, man.”

“Me too. Nothing feels the same without him.”

Hayden understood.

Devorah was next.

Their gazes me, hers with unshed tears. Hayden pulled her into his arms and nuzzled her neck. “I’m here if you need me.”

She nodded against him.

Before she could pull away, he kissed her just below her ear.

“Hey, Conor,” Devy said.

“I’m sorry about your dad,” he told her. “We’re the same now.” Hayden turned and watched Conor interact with Dev. She crouched to his level.noveldrama

“What do you mean?”

Conor shrugged. “My mom went to heaven too.”

Devy smiled softly and tugged on the end of Conor’s jacket. “We are the same, aren’t we?”

Conor nodded, and Devy stood, meeting Hayden’s eyes. She didn’t smile or offer any other words.

When Maren saw Conor, she hugged him. “I’m sorry about your grandpa,” Conor said.

“I’m so sad. But I’m also happy. Weird, right?”

Hayden paid attention to Maren and Conor’s interaction.

“Why are you happy?” Conor asked.

“Because my daddy’s here, and we’re going back to Chicago. Maybe you can visit someday.”

“Sure,” Conor said, without understanding the magnitude of her words. Hayden took Conor’s hand and led him out of the cafeteria. They didn’t need to stick around and wait for their hearts to break anymore. They’d had enough in their lifetime.

Hayden and Conor walked to the park. With everyone at the funeral, the space was empty. Hayden sat down on a swing with Conor next to him.

“Dying is weird.”

“What makes you say that?” Hayden asked.

“I dunno.” Conor shrugged. “When you die, people throw you a big party.”

“It’s not exactly a party, bud. People want to pay their respects. It’s what we do. Sometimes the gatherings are small, like your mom’s. But other times, like with Crow, they’re big.”

“How come Crow’s is so big?”

“Because he grew up here. He was the sheriff for a very long time. Everyone knew him, and a lot of people loved him. Or they love Colt, Devorah, and Maren.”

“Is that why Maren’s dad is here?”

He had no idea.

“I think so.” Hayden wanted to know, though, and he wanted an explanation. It was one thing for Chad to be there, but to act like they were a family or together was a whole other ballpark. He was in love with Devorah and had known it for a while but hadn’t found the right moment to tell her. And now Chad had sat next to her and Maren, in a spot Hayden thought he would be in.

“Do you think Maren will say goodbye before she moves away?” Conor asked, sadly.

Not if Chad had anything to do with it.

Hayden sighed. He had a hard time fathoming how Dev would want to go back to Chicago. She had started to build a life in Oyster Bay. She had friends, a purpose, and . . . him. They had each other, and Hayden wasn’t going to let her go so easily. He’d already told her that if she went back, he and Conor would follow. Hayden intended to keep his word to her. There was no way he’d let her go.

“Yeah, I’ll make sure you get a chance to say goodbye to her. You were a good friend to her. She doesn’t want to forget you.”

Conor was sad, and Hayden’s heart broke for his son. He watched him push the swing back and forth. Conor had known far too much hurt in his young life. Hayden would be damned if he was going to lose his best friend. When the time was right, he’d talk to Devy and get to the bottom of what Maren had said.

Before it was too late again.

After the parking lot had started to clear and cars headed out of town, Hayden and Conor walked back home. Lee and Darcy were there with dinner in the oven. As soon as Hayden walked in, Darcy hugged him.

“Where have you boys been?”

“The park,” Conor told her. “We had to do some deep thinking.”

Hayden tried not to laugh. His son was wise beyond his years.

“Is that so?” Darcy asked.

Hayden nodded.

“And?”

“And what?” He looked at his mom in confusion.

“And are you going to go get her, or are you going to let that sorry excuse for a man take her away from us again?”

Hayden’s eyes widened at his mother’s outburst. He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it.

“Don’t act like a fish looking for water, Hayden McKenna. Go get Devorah, tell her you love her, and, by all means, don’t let her go. I can’t bear you or her suffering any more heartbreak. You’ve both had enough to last a lifetime.”

Hayden looked at his dad for some help.

“Don’t look at me, son,” Lee said as he checked the oven. “The longer you stand there, the longer it’s going to take you to get over to Crow’s and save the girl.” Lee closed the oven and looked at his son. “If I were you, I’d run.”

Hayden ran.